car that goes boom (anchorsong) wrote,
car that goes boom
anchorsong

bitchhiking

i awoke to the sound of pitter-pattering rain. it was rather euphoric after nine days of ovenlike weather and skies lousy with thick smoke swept in from blazing woodland fires situated about two hours north. i spent most of those dried out days indoors, not wishing to damage my lungs, and preserving my now seemingly needle-poked eyes for crystal days. i sensed the discomfort of the withering earth, parched and destitute for water, and didn't want any part of it. so not only was i ecstatic over the showers, which prompted me to run maniacally in the early morning up and down a dreadful hill inducing infuriated legs and huffing, but i was also unenslaved from that place of wickedness called work. the evening before, travis and i arranged to hike, but in lieu of said plan, repelled by the thought of cold feet and soggy shoes, we thought a bit more spontaneously and opted to hitchhike to fairbanks for a film and shopping. after devouring a pricey yet run-of-the-mill pizza, we geared up and put our thumbs to work. within five minutes a young army pilot picked us up, and drove us the entire two hours. while speeding along the curvy road, he ferociously ate raw tofu out of it's box like a starved opossum, and made a spectacle out of his music. he bobbed up and down in his seat and passionately sang aloud to fisherspooner and the donnas (good music!). all in all, he was a pleasant kid.

we opted for fahrenheit 9/11. after the film, after all of the sobbing and tears frittered away, we left the cinema irate, embarrassed by our president, and wishing to take some sort of action. but what exactly? we did not know. however, fleeing the country was our foremost desire.

after forking out thirty dollars on vitamins at fred meyer, we began our journey south. two miles later, three young boys in a brown beat-up mini van stopped. we asked where they were headed, and a kid in the back called out, "blockbuster". this was going to get us absolutely no where i thought, but we crawled in anyway and they dropped us off a mile down the road. upon exiting, they asked if we had any of the green goddess. unfortunately our pockets were sapped.

an hour or two later, a couple in a ratty ford tempo pulled over. the backseat was crammed with junk, mostly clothes and twinless shoes. they tossed the clutter in the trunk, and said they'd drive us for twenty dollars. we squeezed in. it reeked of dirty feet and rot. there was no point in being finicky, so we kept out mouths shut and endured the ride. they ended up stopping the car roughly every fifteen minutes due to overheating. eventually the car stopped running, and we were left on the side of the road around 11pm, minus twenty dollars, and minus our warm beds. so in the drizzle, we walked, buried deep in our raincoats from the pour and umpteen thirsty mosquitos whom every now and then made their way to our necks and eyes. after walking ten miles and only a few cars zooming by, completely disregarding us, we reached a closed gas station, but found operating restrooms. this i thought, was our savior. we could hide out here and rest until early morning, where there were likely to be more cars, more opportunities for a ride. but the restrooms were just as mosquito infested. when i looked at myself in the mirror, i was overwhelmed by the number of bites on my face. one would've had hours of fun connecting the dots, creating a multitude of doodles. we quickly grew impatient and took to the road again. bundled and looking like a blueberry (i got stuck wearing an ill-fitting blue rain jacket), we walked and walked and walked and walked, mute and pretty much negligent of our surroundings. i became so deranged and spacey, i hollered to the bears and allowed them admittance to a kendra buffet if they wished. i had absolutely no energy for a bear brawl.

thirty miles later, a large truck pulled over. we darted recklessly, all the while screaming gratefully. the man behind the wheel, decked out in worn overalls and a colossal nappy beard said, "i never pick up hitchhikers, but you two looked miserable".

miserable indeed. i feel asleep in the back, dreamt of candy, and two hours later i crawled out of the truck and found myself at my lovely, yet not-so-lovely abode, and wriggled into bed with sore legs.

total length of trip: 7.5 hrs
should have been: 2 hrs

there will be no more hitchhiking for a while. the thought of such thing makes me nauseas.
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